The Quiet in the Loud

Lately, I have had very vivid dreams. I’m not sure why, but my dreams have been detailed and memorable. I am enjoying recalling each of them without exception.

Last night, I remember two dreams. The first, featured Bradley Cooper, Hugh Jackman and Steve Buscemi. I know… that’s quite a trio and it was the type of dream you never want to wake up from. If you do happen to wake up during a dream like this, you shut your eyes as fast as you can to try and get back to where you left off. I won’t get into the details, but if I did, my blog would be shut down immediately. Suffice it to say, Steve Buscemi was BY FAR the most impressive of the three. I’ll let your enormous imagination size up my dream.

The second dream I had was unsettling, yet beautiful. I was in a place like today’s Syria. I was on a humanitarian mission with scores of children who had lost their parents. In the dream, I knew we were all going to die, but I wasn’t frightened. I sat with the children and we had a discussion about locating the safe piece/peace and quiet inside of us. The children shared stories of tragedy and one boy said, “When my family died, it was so painful, I was divinely led to peace. Now, I don’t like it, but the tragedies no longer impact whether or not I’m at peace. Tragedy is no match for my divinely inspired peace.” Then, we sang, Everything’s Alright, from Jesus Christ Superstar in unison.

In real life, I have sung this song to my daughters often, from the time they were born. I used to sing it to myself as a young child whenever I was afraid, which was often. It always calmed me in times of fear, pain and angst.

The last thing I remember about this dream, was that we all felt loved and at peace. No matter what was going to happen, we were all perfectly alright, together.

A few nights ago, I had a dream about my ex-husband. We were contemplating shagging, which would NEVER happen in real life. So, we made a plan to get together to decide, “To shag or not to shag, that is the question…” When he arrived, I noticed he was naked and ultra buff. Also, he had chosen to shave his eyebrows and all of his body hair. The only hair that remained was the fabulous head of hair he has in real life. In the dream, I decided not to shag. I just couldn’t get past his no eyebrows thing. It was a total turn off. I exclaimed to him, a la Austin Powers, “It’s not my bag, Baby!”austin powers

Today, while awake and in a real, non dreamy state, there’s a hell of a lot of reality –  our living room ceiling has water damage, our dog threw up three times and had an accident on the carpet, and someone depleted my bank account and left me with a – $1200 balance. That’s right, NEGATIVE TWELVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. Yes, it’s unjust, and yes, it’s a total pain in the ass, but I choose not to walk through life stressed out or pissed off.

Why ruin a perfectly good day, even when it’s fraught with big challenges? I so want to enjoy what’s enjoyable. When I’m in this state, I am able to be helpful to others. If I am too stressed or obsessed or messed about an upcoming event at work, or stolen money, or our goofball dog, I won’t be able to see or feel:

  • the sheer joy our fur babies, bring to us each day.
  • relief that our ceiling isn’t caving in.
  • thanks to lack of funds, I don’t have to make a trip to the grocery store. Plus, I am forced to tap into my creativity with cooking, and work with what I already have in the house. Many of my most delicious meals have come from, “having nothing to eat in the house.”
  • what are others dealing with and how can I be helpful to them?
  • broke is different than broken.

Sure, some of today was a real shit show, but it didn’t really play like one. All of it made me tired though, so I’m heading to bed in a few minutes. I am going to try to recreate the whole Bradley Cooper, Hugh Jackman, Steve Buscemi scenario, but if my night is anything like my day was, my eyebrow-less ex-husband will arrive instead of my “her-em.” If this happens, I’m prepared with:

Close your eyes
Close your eyes
And relax
Think of nothing tonight.

Everything’s alright, yes, everything’s fine…

Read more: Jesus Christ Superstar – Everything’s Alright Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Author: PKW

Writer, Speaker, Facilitator, Trainer, Fundraiser, Strategist, Listener, and Lover of Humans. My love for humans and relationship building are a part of every single thing I do, except for maybe using the bathroom.

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