Over the past several days, I have been unbelievably inconvenienced. I imagine that no one could possibly be THIS inconvenienced, calm and honest at the same time. When I am relaying my stories with a somewhat lighthearted tone, I wonder if people may think I’m B.S.-ing or exaggerating. As I walk away from these conversations, I often think, “Do they believe I’m like that Jon Lovitz pathological liar character from SNL?”
No. It’s not the ticket. In fact, I’m half expecting a speeding ticket, even if I’m going 12 MPH, just based on recent historical events.
I have been in a financial storm. For those of you who read my blog, last week, my bank account was depleted by a thief. I was left with a – $1200 deficit that has improved ever so slightly.
This morning, I received my monthly email alert from my mobile phone carrier. For some insane reason that I will probably never comprehend, I have been overcharged by approximately $750.00. After my daughter and I stopped laughing at all of our financial madness, I contacted a friendly customer service representative who guided me through the eighteen other steps I’ll have to take in order to speak with the right department who can refer me to someone else to potentially resolve the discrepancy at some point, maybe.
It’s Passover, and my daughters and I are celebrating this holiday with as much vim and vigor as we ever have. At last night’s beautiful Seder discussion, as we talked about the Exodus of Egypt, we went far deeper in what still keeps us enslaved. We explored tangible steps to gaining freedom from living in bondage. This may or may not be typical in other families, but it had as much meaning as any meal we’ve ever shared together.
A traditional part of the Passover Seder is hiding the Afikomen for the children to find. When my eldest daughter located it, (in my pocket, because I never actually hid it), and my younger daughter was 2.5 seconds away from whining, I told them they were each receiving one dollar for their efforts. They paused, looked at each other, looked back at me, and donated the $2.00 back to me. My eldest said, “Mommy, you need it more than we do. You’re broke.”
Today, my children are home from school in observance of Passover. My kids don’t usually take this holiday off, but today, we decided to work further on freeing ourselves from what enslaves us. While I have my ongoing bank investigation, my mobile carrier billing snafu, online auto-pays to halt and utility companies to negotiate delays in payment, none of this has enslaved me. None of it.
Any negative or even tragic experience I have had has brought me here. I am grateful. I had a brief belch in my gratitude where I felt crappy. What initiated the brief pause in my peace and calm, was my own reaction to how others reacted to my story. The majority of people I explained it to, told me I should be freaking out. Some even implied that I was weird for not being totally unhinged over my incident with the bank. (and now, my mobile carrier.)
The truth is, and this is the whole truth… I am not a slave to being inconvenienced. I don’t seek to find the shortest line at the store. I never grumble when there’s a price check needed for a customer in front of me. If I’m in a hurry or late for something, that’s my problem and not an issue for the customer in front of me or the cashier.
I tend to park far away from where I’m going, just because. (Whether or not I find my car after my shopping trip is another story.)
All of these things about me not feeling inconvenienced when others do, drives some of the people who love me crazy. Please note, I am not inconvenienced by their judgment on how I react to long lines and distant parking spaces.
I’d rather choose to be kind to all involved in my bank investigation and try to collaborate on us finding a solution together, than freak out or be mean, because something is extraordinarily inconvenient for me.
I have no doubt that my financial challenges will be resolved. It may take some time. I’d like to spend this time enjoying my life and not obsessing about this financial woe or that other financial woe.
What I have never fully acknowledged, is how much I like this quality about me. While I have had my share of bad and tragic experiences, I have never, without one exception, ended up without a lifetime of valuable benefits.
So, I accept this inconvenience and as I take the essential steps to correct the issues, I also accept that I am existing, minute by minute, surrounded by the blessing of being calm and peaceful in all of this chaos.
I am, indeed, free from slavery. Plus, any day, rich or poor, is made better with matzo brei. Chag Pesach Sameach!