I slept right through the breaking of the fast. I had hoped that after breaking the fast this evening, I would have the answer as to whether or not I need to take a break from a man I’ve been seeing for about one month. While I mentioned “breaking it off” in the title of this post, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m considering “breaking up.” We’ve only been dating a month for crying out loud. We are still in the “getting to know you” stage. While I like this man very much, and for reasons I will not include in this post, I have decided to abruptly slam on the brakes and move forward in a different direction than where I was heading.
In the midst of checking my brakes all day, I feel like I could use an extra day of atonement. I wonder if G-d will give me an extension on my atonement deadline. The G-d that I know and love and who knows and loves me, is totally good with my late submission. My grade will probably not even be lowered.
If you know me or read any of my posts or articles, you may be aware that I try to keep my side of the street clean and make amends daily where necessary. Still, Yom Kippur is the holiest of holidays and there were too many holes in this year’s holy day.
In spite of the hole-y holy day, I reflected and atoned quite a bit, and made it through the fast with ease. The atoning I still have remaining to do, all transpired in the past 24 hours. This is actually terrific for me, because it’s how I move through my daily life. (Thanks G-d for making it so comfy and natural!)
So, while I won’t divulge any of the reasons for my shift in speed and direction, I will say that I am grateful to G-d, a solid foundation and the loved ones around me who are the primary muses for my learning and growth. I have known for many years, that the power my primary muses yield, always wins over (heals) any pain I experience in my heart, due to “boy problems.”
I hope you had an easy fast and a meaningful Yom Kippur. For my non-Jewish friends, I hope you enjoyed a beautiful Saturday of love and light.
Much love, good juju and a solid foundation with which to continue to build and grow, brick by brick.