Out in the Fray, Maybe Slightly Afraid.

Barf.

Sometimes, (many times), I look at my writing from title to conclusion and just think,

Big, fat, barf.

Still, it’s all true…this is my sort of stream of consciousness way of communicating how I contend with and process catastrophes, victories and everything in between. I also know I can be self-critical and just need to push through, especially while fearful of looking like a complete moron by writing what I think may be complete drivel.

If I help anyone, it’s totally worthwhile.

Lately, there feels like an endless storm of significant challenges and some of the challenges are based on factual information, but I’m not literally in a storm, nor is the figurative storm, endless. Some issues, are short term, and others, are lifelong issues to move through, but I don’t see any of it as terminal.

I am tired for sure. While I have increased my attention on urgent matters, I have simultaneously increased my self-care regimen.

Still, tired is winning.

When I become this depleted, I try to take several important steps to ensure my own oxygen mask is on properly, and that oxygen is flowing:

  1. Emphasize my trust in facts over feelings
  2. Lean into feelings and emotions for a bit, walk through and move on
  3. Incorporate meditation and mindfulness at least four times per day
  4. Be intentional about incorporating fun even in times that feel dark. If it’s dark, I am empowered to flip a switch or light a candle
  5. Ask for help. Be honest about what’s happening with people I trust
  6. Write myself a love letter, including elements of gratitude, even if I feel like poop
  7. Be of service to others. Find out how someone else is doing
  8. Practice the hell out of boundaries. NOT sacrifice myself when I have so little to give. Give of myself with boundaries
  9. Forgive myself for lost sleep and funky eating. There will be another night and meal to try again
  10. Create joy and victory wherever possible. Bring loved ones and strangers along

Everything always improves and calms down, even if I am frightened, and out in the fray, looking around as if I’m not almost 51 years old, but as if I’m a young child. Once I get to know the fray and lean into it, it becomes a familiar setting, and maybe even, my new home.

And the truth is, where love exists, is pretty much home to me. In fact, I think everything is temporary, with one exception and that exception is love.

So, right now, this place is unknown to me, but I will get to know it. In the meantime, and all of the time, I will just keep walking.

You are welcome to join me.

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Author: PKW

Writer, Speaker, Facilitator, Trainer, Fundraiser, Strategist, Listener, and Lover of Humans. My love for humans and relationship building are a part of every single thing I do, except for maybe using the bathroom.

2 thoughts on “Out in the Fray, Maybe Slightly Afraid.”

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