I am 51 years old today. Just a few short days ago, the Pentagon confirmed that Area 51 conspiracy theorists are not actually nutballs after all. Coincidence? I think not.
In breaking it down, if I am 51 today, I am practically 60 which is edging toward 80. I feel great considering I’m close to 90 years old. I also think I look fantastic for being a Centurion candidate.
I love getting older. I just do. My daughters often tell me that when I was younger and far more aesthetically pleasing, that I looked, “skinny, weird, empty and not like mommy.” In some ways, I sort of agree with them. In current photos, at least I see someone who isn’t hiding. I see who I am on the inside and not some soul full of pain who has no voice.
I’ll take my voice over 9% body fat any day. See why I like aging? Of course, my eldest daughter has told me that “sexy ends at 35.” Little does she know, she may have ignited a whole new direction for my sexy 51 year old self.
Over the years, I have heard some people say,
The older I get, the less I know.
I almost buy into that sentiment. For me though, while I actually know a bit more than I once did, I am super comfy admitting what I don’t know. Perhaps us old geezers just seem like we know less, because we’re more honest than younger folk, about saying, “Huh? What in the hell are you talking about?”
As far as my birthday goes, I don’t really like my birthday and haven’t for a very private reason that will always be mine. This reason, while a pivotal moment in my youth, doesn’t define my 51st birthday or really any day. Today, I schlepped children, took care of our sick dog, worked on closing our year out and even had fantasies about being probed by aliens. Okay, calm down. I’m kidding about the alien part but perhaps not the being probed part. Okay, I am kidding about the being probed part too. There. Happy?
I am not entering this year with grand excitement. I’m freaking exhausted. There is so much going on in virtually every aspect of my life. It’s become so eventful, I find myself questioning things I typically never question.
No matter. I will keep showing up. I will forgive the mistakes I appear to be making on an almost constant basis. I will continue to learn from my children and from you. I am all about you.
I will continue to write, but definitely feel a shift coming. I’m not sure exactly what that shift is, but it’s either a blog about the fine musings with my children in the day-to-day, or sexuality after 50.
Of course, knowing me and the committee who lives in my head, I could end up with a blog about almost anything. The possibilities are wide open and even wider than Area 51.