Proposals & Holy (sh*t) Matrimony

A woman draws her life from man and gives it back again (Woman barfs from this lyric, written by a man) <– same melody, please.

Last night, I dreamed of being proposed to, getting remarried and flourishing in a happy marriage ALL NIGHT LONG.

Wait. What? Surely not me!

The very idea of remarrying is so far afield from where I have stood for almost a decade.

See below for subtle references:

A woman draws her life from man and gives it back again (Woman barfs from this lyric, written by a man) <– same melody, please.
And there is love, there is love (Yeah!)

Well then what’s to be the reason for becoming man and wife (Good question)
Is it love that brings you here or love that gives you life (Both?)
For if loving is the answer then who’s the giving for (All?)
Do you believe in something that you’ve never seen before (Yes!)
Oh there’s love, oh there’s love (Yeah!)

 

For me, The Wedding Song by Noel Paul Stookey is even harder to endure than Muskrat Love by Captain and Tennille.

Before you chalk it up to my frigid heart, let me clarify a few things:

  • I freakin’ LOVE Noel Paul Stookey, Peter, Paul & Mary, Captain and Tennille and most of their music. “Love Will Keep Us Together,” was one of my first purchases as a child.
  • I dig folk music as much as anyone who was at Woodstock in 1969.
  • There are stunningly gorgeous portions of both aforementioned songs
  • I believe love is at the core of resolving every single problem, anywhere. If love isn’t present, I do not believe a problem can be resolved, period.

Okay, so I’m not a total hater –  Quite the opposite. I’m happy we cleared this up. Let’s move on with a full-on love-fest, together.

I almost luxuriate as I bear witness to happy marriages. I am closely attached to thriving marriages. On the top of that list is the one I have witnessed for my entire life – my parents have been married for more than 60 years. I am inspired by and in awe of their union in more ways than I can list here. Sure, I have seen a lot. I mean, they’re my parents.

molo
MoLo’s 60+ year marriage. WHAT? AMAZING!

Since my divorce years ago, I have been proposed to several times – Once at Mariano’s in the produce section, another time or two at Target, and a few other random times, mostly in checkout lanes where I often have conversations.

Of course, none of them were “real” marriage proposals, but all in good fun. Still, each time I was proposed to, it made me think about the idea of getting remarried. This was never challenging for me, as I knew I was never, ever, ever, going to get remarried.

Well, it has recently occurred to me, that contrary to my previously publicized opinion, I have actually been “in love” before, and I now understand exactly what it means for me. This has been an exciting and welcome revelation.

HALLELUJAH!

In a very short amount of time, I’ve received clarity on several key items that the committee in my head had been meeting about for years. Marriage, (for me), isn’t one of them. The clarifying factors of being “in love,” has been a BIGGIE.

How I perceive being “IN LOVE,” is absolutely one of the most important and beautiful epiphanies I have had in the past year, and perhaps in my whole life. So, for me to dream last night about getting remarried doesn’t freak me out at all. I enjoyed it. I loved all of my dreams, even the one with the engagement ring that turned my finger blue/green. As in real life, I didn’t care one iota about the ring in my dream.

So, while I am propelled by love and especially my love for people, I am NOT seeking to get remarried. I am, however, open to being “in love” again. My parameters are clear and very discerning with a lot of deal breakers.

If or when I ever fall in love again, I imagine that this man will also have extremely clear and very discerning parameters with plenty of deal breakers he will not veer from. THIS framework has a chance at me falling being “in love” again.

Where there is love, there is life — Gandhi

Author: PKW

Writer, Speaker, Facilitator, Trainer, Fundraiser, Strategist, Listener, and Lover of Humans. My love for humans and relationship building are a part of every single thing I do, except for maybe using the bathroom.

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