Most people know that yesterday was the 38th anniversary of John Lennon’s assassination. If you know anything about me, you are aware that I am much more than just a lifelong fan of John Lennon and his music. I hoped to lose my virginity to John Lennon. Obviously, that didn’t work out as he was assassinated in 1980, but had he lived longer….
Perhaps you were one of the eight or so people who saw the Chicago premiere of The Day They Shot John Lennon in 1985 at the Lifeline Theatre. To this day, I fully believe I was the worst “actor” in that production. I mean, I was fresh out of high school, surrounded by great acting talent and was busy being a starving dancer in my teens. I only took the role because it was about John Lennon.
Throughout my dance and composition career, it seemed like John Lennon songs were everywhere. When choreographing, I didn’t choose much of his music, but other choreographers chose John Lennon’s music for me. There’s no question that I was crippled inside and dancing to “Crippled Inside” and “Mother” and “Imagine” was my safe space to whisper, speak and even scream. My voice was honest and loud in dance and even at 51, it still is.
Back then, dance was the only way I really spoke. I think it’s a primary reason I was good at it. It was so much more than physical strength, flexibility, turnout and great feet. It was life or death for me (a great feat) and I’m pretty sure audiences knew it.
John Lennon’s music has been a top go-to for most of my life and I pay special attention to it on days like yesterday. I chose to only listen to TWO John Lennon songs which was atypical to say the least.
I’ve been walking through some very challenging stuff. (We all do from time to time and I know fully well that I am not terminally unique.) Two John Lennon songs provided so much solace and comfort. They are not my usual first choices:
Right before I was to listen to these two songs, I broke up with Peter Frampton. Without getting into too much detail, I want to be very clear with Peter because I’m sure he follows my blog and is chomping at the bit to hear my truth:
I fell in love and remained in love with you, but have to break it off now, so my heart and spirit can heal.
But hey, I only broke up with you, circa 1973 – 1978. I can’t ever listen to “I’m in You” ever again. It makes me holistically ill. Great song by the way. Honest, simple and beautiful like the truest of loves. No thanks.
Peter, I’m a little crunchy right now, but if you want to have a cup of coffee when you’re in Chicago, I will check my schedule. While you are 17 years my senior and have been married three times, let’s just keep it platonic…. maybe.
I hope you’re not too devastated that I don’t want to take it further, (maybe) but I don’t want to be in something that is unhealthy for me or my daughters. (FOR SURE.)
Much love and respect,
The truth is, I never danced to Peter Frampton’s music with the exception of the past year or so. It’s always been John Lennon who is my most very safe bet for all the right feels and heals.
So, thank you John Lennon, wherever you are. I am just one in a sea of billions who have healed and thrived thanks to your genius.
I will love you forever.
P.S. Peter, if you’re reading this, private message me if you’re in Chicago.