Depression Has Nothing to do with Rights

I never wonder if I, or anyone else has “the right to be depressed.” I think the very idea seems way off. Throughout my life, I have heard others validate or invalidate individuals (and sometimes, me), on whether enduring depression is acceptable,“ridiculous,” or to be expected. It seems to me, these opinions appear to be based almost solely on measurable logistics. For example,  Continue reading “Depression Has Nothing to do with Rights”

The Santa, Jesus, & Allah Loving Jew

Wait. If you find yourself gasping, maybe hang tight for a moment or two. It’s just,

I’m a believer.

I believe in love and goodness. I believe in looking toward joy rather than seeking dissonance. I love dissonance in music, but to choose dissonance where it doesn’t belong, is a kooky individual and sociological habit in my opinion. Continue reading “The Santa, Jesus, & Allah Loving Jew”

An Authentic, Invested, Thanksgiving That May Not be “Happy.”

Not that you’ve asked, but for me, the typical Thanksgiving greeting, reeks of a lack of inclusion of all people. It’s downright platitudinous.

This original post is from several years ago. It’s been edited to reflect this year’s extra weirdness.

A typical greeting on Thanksgiving is, “Happy Thanksgiving,” but  I much prefer,

“I wish you a MEANINGFUL Thanksgiving.”

I actually take this tack with most holidays and even just plain old days. This hope for “meaning,” applies this year as much as any other. Many of us are about to embark on a Thanksgiving like no other one in the past. We may be missing our parents, kids, extended family and friends. Still, how many people have felt totally alone even when a pandemic isn’t spiking? Lots and lots.

Not that you’ve asked, but for me, the typical Thanksgiving greeting, reeks of a lack of inclusion of all people. It’s downright platitudinous. Do you really want to say, “Happy Thanksgiving,” to indigenous people? Many Native Americans observe this day, as a day of mourning or “UnThanksgiving.” Continue reading “An Authentic, Invested, Thanksgiving That May Not be “Happy.””

Boxing Gloves & Kid Gloves

Dukes up.

Boxing gloves on.

Ready for the big fight, flight, or, freeze. Continue reading “Boxing Gloves & Kid Gloves”

Little Girl Found, Kicking & Screaming

And once she learned to kick and scream, the monsters quieted down.

When she knew she was safe to stop kicking and screaming, the monsters left

forever.

She was left with some permanent scars that she saw as rich and beautiful, because they were perfect to her and not because they had to be, but because they just were.

The little girl healed and the woman flourished.

The little girl and the woman agreed to coexist as the caretakers of each other and providers of the ointment that would protect and honor her scars

forever.

Continue reading “Little Girl Found, Kicking & Screaming”

Writing Right, Righting the Wrong

Once I am right, I will really write.

Maybe I am writing now.

I am ill with a lie told as truth

and a truth that I wish was a lie.

And me, a woman who rarely asks, “Why?”

is asking, “Why?” Continue reading “Writing Right, Righting the Wrong”

Slamming on the Brakes, Taking a Break, Breaking the Fast & Breaking It Off

I slept right through the breaking of the fast. I had hoped that after breaking the fast this evening, I would have the answer as to whether or not I need to take a break from a man I’ve been seeing for about one month. While I mentioned “breaking it off” in the title of this post, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m considering “breaking up.” We’ve only been dating a month for crying out loud. We are still in the “getting to know you” stage. While I like this man very much, and for reasons I will not include in this post, I have decided to abruptly slam on the brakes and move forward in a different direction than where I was heading. Continue reading “Slamming on the Brakes, Taking a Break, Breaking the Fast & Breaking It Off”

Taking a Lover Who Takes & Takes

Every so often, I consider, “taking a lover.” This always sounds so romantic to me, but I don’t spend much time daydreaming (or night dreaming) about it, because in actuality, I tend to react rather swiftly with… BARF. HIDEOUS IDEA. EW.

I had an epiphany the other day and it was a biggie. 
Continue reading “Taking a Lover Who Takes & Takes”

A Fear of Peaks (and Valleys)

As I stand at the base of the highest mountain I have ever seen, I squint to view its highest peak. I try to appraise what it will take to reach its top. How can anyone possibly live through this painful and dangerous climb? I try to count all of its jagged edges above the timberline, but there are too many to track. I panic. I don’t know anything about the other side of the mountain. I acknowledge that my understanding of this risky venture can only be accurately evaluated by walking to the other side of the mountain along its base. Continue reading “A Fear of Peaks (and Valleys)”

Jake Lawler

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