My own contribution to rape culture

“Short Skirts, Scrapes & Secretive Scars,” was my first post on this blog. I originally wrote it on LinkedIn, two years ago, after Brock Turner’s light slap on the hand for being convicted on three counts of felony sexual assault.

Now, two years later, how far have we come? As a society, we are shaming and blaming the victims of sexual assault.

I am sitting here fully aware of my own contribution to rape culture. When I was younger, I thought I’d asked for it by the clothes I wore, my outgoing, flirtatious personality, the fact that I was a dancer, etc. 

I undervalued myself. I under valued you, but didn’t even know I was doing it. I know it now and now is what matters.

Enough victim blaming and shaming. Enough. #MeToo

Continue reading “My own contribution to rape culture”

A Love Letter to Artificial Progress & Real Regression

Dear World,

Years ago, I believed I was unintelligent. As a child, I worked very hard to hide my perceived stupidity and the shame that accompanied it. I was convinced that anytime I appeared to be intelligent, it was artificial. Naturally, this internal messaging, along with other self-mutilating messaging, was totally false.  Continue reading “A Love Letter to Artificial Progress & Real Regression”

Easy Exorcise: Fear of Public Speaking

Continue reading “Easy Exorcise: Fear of Public Speaking”

The pessimism in positivity, with or without donuts

Just recently, I was told that my positivity, is downright irritating. It wasn’t just one person who mentioned this to me, it was at least two and perhaps a third was nodding in agreement. If you are a fairly recent friend or colleague of mine, you may be nodding along. Also, you may be right.
Continue reading “The pessimism in positivity, with or without donuts”

The Quiet Transformers

I may be obsessed with examples of great leadership. Naturally, great leadership is defined differently depending on who you speak to and who you listen to. It’s kind of like the whole, self-proclaimed”expert” definition I also find myself rolling around with.

I have never considered myself to be particularly thoughtful over things that have nothing to do with me. I’ve noticed a major shift in the past few years and like Alka-Seltzer, “oh what a relief it is.”

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved the play, Cyrano de Bergerac. What I didn’t realize until much later in life, is that what I enjoy most, both personally and professionally, is behaving with a very similar intention that I perceive the Cyrano character to have. The rewards of virtual anonymity and a full outside view of the fruits of my labor, satisfy me more than anything I have ever experienced. Continue reading “The Quiet Transformers”

Brad: A Walking Inspiration

Brad is the best example of WHY I love nonprofit work and philanthropy.

The following essay was written and submitted by my longtime friend, Brad Kolar. He is an inspiration to me and to so many others, I simply HAD to post it on my blog.

Enjoy.

Why I choose to be an “ORT man”

Written and submitted by Brad Kolar

My mom was an “ORT lady.” For those who didn’t grow up in an ORT household, that probably doesn’t mean a lot. However, for those of us who did, that was a big deal.

Continue reading “Brad: A Walking Inspiration”

If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don’t Want to Be Right: Career Polyamory

Originally written in August, 2016, and updated six months later,to reflect a positive shift in my professional trajectory. My professional path will shift again, with intention and by design.

My Mom has shared with me many times, that while I was growing up, she felt really sorry for me. She noticed I was living with a curse. I had so much passion, focus and commitment for such an expansive variety of things, she didn’t know how I would ever decide to choose just one of them to take me through my life professionally. She worried a lot about it. Continue reading “If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don’t Want to Be Right: Career Polyamory”

The Midlife NON-Crisis: Trumps Anger

This post is not going to focus 100% on what EVERYONE is talking about almost 100% of the time these days. Sure, I have my thoughts, opinions and feelings on the subject, but I have been and continue to be relatively quiet and very focused on what is right in front of me in the here and now.

For many years, I worked in Jewish social justice and I loved it. This was a life-changing experience where I learned the real strength that comes from praying with my feet.feet While I was there, I worked shoulder to shoulder with some of the most talented, passionate and effective community organizers in Chicago and beyond. I will forever consider these individuals role models and heroes of mine.

As I learned about community organizing, the most knowledgeable facilitators would often emphasize the power that comes from staying angry; leading with anger. Continue reading “The Midlife NON-Crisis: Trumps Anger”

Loving the Petty Moments, Truly.

DISCLAIMER: I have been on a writing strike. Bear with me. Thanks.

When I was a child, I couldn’t fathom the idea that anyone was a Tom Petty fan. I disliked his singing style so much, I balked at listening to the meaningful music. Of course, I felt the same way about Bob Dylan and Janis Joplin. Now that I’m older, (and CLEARLY wiser,) I’ve grown to fall in love with and appreciate extraordinary talents that transcend a “purdy” or lyrical vocal quality. All of these artists’ songs strike deep chords inside of me and are among my very favorites.

Beginning on April 4th of this year, I celebrated spring, by springing free from a job that resulted in deep pain and angst in me. Once I left that position, I couldn’t help but notice that I was hearing a ton of Tom Petty songs. Perhaps I was just listening for them. It seemed that almost daily, I’d hear, I Won’t Back Down The Waiting, Free Falling, and Learning to Fly.

I didn’t understand the meaning, or if there was any meaning for me. I just knew that feeling trapped and waiting to leave that job was the hardest part. I had to learn to fly again and while I was free falling, I was not going to back down or retreat.
Continue reading “Loving the Petty Moments, Truly.”

I thought Tinder for Business was my INNOVATIVE Idea.

I also thought attractive winter gloves that successfully utilize mobile devices, (with real human hands actually inside of them), Starbuck’s delivery and eye make up magnifying glasses were also my original, great ideas.

I’m brilliant, I know.

Um, no.

People who may be smarter and more creative than I am had these ideas looooooooong before I had them. (Although, I don’t really think mobile device winter gloves are attractive, and I also think if you’re looking so silly wearing those eye make up magnifying glasses, who needs make up? But, these are simply an opinion from me, who at best, is a questionable fashion plate.)

Wait. There’s no question. I’m not a fashion plate. Continue reading “I thought Tinder for Business was my INNOVATIVE Idea.”