Sad, Scared, Scarred; Serene

Here’s a snippet of what my head was telling me last night. I’m estimating that these thoughts all took place in about a five minute period:

Yesterday, I wrote a blog post on what not to say to a depressed/anxious/suicidal person, when they’re in the thick of things. I hope today’s post helps to give more insight into how people (like me,) think, even when we’re NOT in a deep depression. I hope it helps someone cope with their “loud” head.

When I get sad, I almost always feel scared and self-critical. It takes abundant, repeated practice of coping strategies for me to realize that I’m just sad and in actuality, okay. No matter, I can get pretty panicked by it.

Last night, I felt sad. Over the past year or so, when I feel sad I am oftentimes missing my former super energetic and enthusiastic approach to virtually everything. (Okay, I have never been enthusiastic about anything related to taxes or health insurance enrollment, but almost everything else.) I miss the “old me,” and when I’m sad, I usually feel my scars; both literally and figuratively and my worst self-critic emerges ruthlessly.

Before I realize I’m not in a deep depression, my head questions and criticizes a million things, real or imagined. It can be a mean place upstairs.

Here’s a snippet of what my head was telling me last night. I’m estimating that these thoughts all took place in about a five minute period:

Continue reading “Sad, Scared, Scarred; Serene”

Feelings… wo wo wo… Feelings

I spend a great deal of time and energy thinking, writing about, examining, preaching, ripping apart and putting back together, all things about “FEELINGS.” I have no doubt that this is time and energy well spent. (This is your cue to roll your eyes.)

Time and time again, embracing feelings and the depth of feelings that I feel or have felt, almost immediately turns me to examining facts – I am an ardent supporter and believer in evaluating and trusting facts over feelings, but processing feelings is a MUST.  Continue reading “Feelings… wo wo wo… Feelings”

The Shadows & Shame & Stigma of Sex

DISCLAIMER: I am angry, and this will likely be a rant. If this post offends you, I urge you to examine your own views of sex, how you use or don’t use it, your own comfort level and how you communicate and/or act in your day to day life.

If I had a penny for every woman and girl who felt some shame about sex and her own sexuality, I could retire immediately. Even women, like myself, who feel very comfortable in their own skin and embrace their sexuality, carry some semblance of shame. Continue reading “The Shadows & Shame & Stigma of Sex”

Jake Lawler

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