Respect – Pamela Klier-Weidner (PKW)

Pam or “Ma’am?”

Today’s crankiness could be attributed to the fact that it’s Monday and some Mondays are extra Monday-ish,_{^{(like this one.)}} It’s also a million degrees outside with 150% humidity and I may or may not be menopausal, but whoa… I’ve really disliked being called, “Ma’am” on this particular day.

I visited just two places and at both locations, I was addressed multiple times by the moniker that sometimes, makes me shudder;

“MA’AM, your prescription can’t be filled today.” ^{_{(Pharmacy staff)}}
“Polly’s prescription is ready for you, MA’AM.”_{^{(Vet staff)}}
“MA’AM, do you want to put your rewards number in?” _^(Cashier)
“Pardon me, MA’AM…“ _{^{(Customer sharing the aisle with me)}}
“MA’AM? MA’AM? MA’AM?!” _{^{(Pharmacy staff trying to get my attention)}}

Sometimes, I really don’t mind being addressed this way. Today, it was different. It happened so many times in a period of about 60 minutes.

I do know some women who are downright offended by the term AT ABSOLUTELY ALL TIMES, because it somehow makes them feel old; but really, isn’t it a polite term of respect more than age?

Please discuss and do let me know your thoughts. I’m genuinely curious!

Look, I don’t care much about age, so whether or not someone thinks I’m old doesn’t matter to me. What bugged me most about today is that I felt like “ma’am” put a type of formal distance between me and the human beings who were addressing me. I’m a person who really likes to get to know other people.

So, yeah… it’s my problem. If other people feel more comfy calling me, “Ma’am,” _^(cringe) I’ll have to be okay with it. I can’t envision myself correcting someone when in actuality, they’re pretty correct. I probably am a “ma’am.” I’m a “ma’am” named Pam. Speaking of which…

… don’t eeeeeee-ven get me started on how “Ma’am” rhymes with my name. I often think people who know me are calling out my name when in fact, they’re really saying, “ma’am.”

This minor quibble definitely falls into the high-class kvetch category. Also, on a brighter note, it would be even tougher if I was a man named, “Adam” and I thought people were calling me, “Madam.” 🙂

P.S. I haven’t yet made it to “MADAM/MADAME” status unless I’m at a French restaurant which of course, I frequently dine at. I love French doigt de pied-fou.

Really, no matter what the moniker du jour, One thing I continuously remind myself is that even when I’m cranky over silly things such as this, I’m a very lucky Pam

and sometimes, “Ma’am.”

For Juliette: A Love Letter You May (still) Hate, (for now.)

Nov. 24, 2019

I wrote the letter that follows today’s entry, to Juliette, exactly five years ago, one day before her 11th birthday. It’s interesting to look back to see what’s changed, what hasn’t and what will likely never change.

There’s so much in the past five years, no one could have ever predicted, but we walk through and not around. This is something I so love about you and our little family.

You are without question, one of the smartest, most empathetic and beautiful human beings I know. I’m not even being biased about it because I’m your Mom.

Tomorrow, you turn 16. This is an age I’ve been warned about from many sources. I don’t know, but I am really enjoying this time with you and witnessing all of the many ways you’re blossoming into an extraordinary young woman. (Okay, but you still live under my roof and follow the rules!)

While you’ll always be my baby and the one who made me a mother, I respect the very mature young person you’ve shown yourself to be.

And I won’t even get started on your singing. Your vocal gifts blow my head off of my neck. When others compliment you, believe them.

I love you endlessly and this is something I know you know. I’m so grateful that no matter what doubts we may have, we never doubt that one essential fact.

Happy Sweet 16! I hope our homemade Ramen and purple cake will bring you joy. You know that experiences are everything and stuff is just, well… stuff.

Love,

Mom

Continue reading “For Juliette: A Love Letter You May (still) Hate, (for now.)”

A Teacher Named, Ba Ba Ba Ba Barbara Jan

Over the past several months, since my colleague, ORT Chicago director, Barbara (Barb) Statland announced her retirement as our region director, I’ve tried to sit down to write about her.

Each time I’ve tried to write almost anything about Barb, (and I have tried countless times), several things happen:

The Beach Boys’ Ba ba ba ba ba Barbara Ann runs through my head, but instead of “Ann,” I change it to “Jan.” Barb’s middle name is Jan, so it obviously works great. It repeats and repeats in my head and drives me totally nuts.
Still, I riff a little bit with the whole, Ba ba ba ba ba Barbara Jan song idea. I create a sketch in my head about “The Teach Boys” singing the song for our Barbara Jan. Instead of being on the beach, the band, along with ORT students and educators sing and dance in an ORT 21st Century Classroom.
Picture The Teach Boys singing Ba ba ba ba ba Barbara Jan in the classroom at an ORT School in Israel. Welcome to my head.
Now, I start to get teary because Barb is kind of like family to me. I’ve grown accustomed to her face, her attention to detail and her Fuji apples and peanut butter at 11:16 AM each day. I think, “What will it be like not to hear her cutting apples? How will I know it’s 11:16 AM?”
I stop trying to write because I get emotional and even nostalgic. I am generally not a nostalgic person, but Barb and I have walked through a lot together. Side note: I also happen to be a very ugly crier.

Now, I am not crying. Oh good. We are making progress.

Here’s how I see my professional partner in crime and friend, Barbara Jan Statland:

Barb has been one of my best educators.
Her attention to detail is superlative.
If she wanted to, she could be a theater director and/or theater teacher.
She could also do voice-overs. Great voice.
Heck, she would make a fine actress.
She is one of the biggest reasons I was hired by ORT America. Thank you, Barb.
She has more patience than any colleague I have ever worked with, anywhere.
She is extremely creative and incomparably tenacious.
She loves ORT and its people very deeply. (P.S. ORT = People)
She is hilarious even when she’s not trying to be.
She is a powerful communicator.
She is reasonable.
Her commitment to and her belief in ORT programs never, ever wavers.
Barb’s leadership has sustained our region where most others would have failed.
I have never heard anyone better on the phone. Yes, she knows I eavesdrop.
Barb really loves the ORT Teacher’s Fund.

There’s a lot more to Barb than what I’ve stated here. It has been my privilege to partner with and to learn from her.

The love goes both ways. ORT loves Barb so much, there’s a whole ORT International Seminar for Leading Educators dedicated to Barb, in honor of her retirement. This seminar, (which I believe starts TOMORROW!), is a key part of the ORT Teachers Fund which is a fund dedicated to the professional development of educators. A few words from Barb about the ORT Teacher’s Fund:

So many ORT students are motivated, passionate, knowledgeable and creative BECAUSE of their teachers. Their teachers instill these traits within their students. ORT knows that this is key and provides a network of peers for their teachers to whom they can turn for support and to share ideas. This Teachers Fund will provide so much – including training in the areas of digital technology, physics education and Bio Research, learning technologies training, math and English. Collaboration is key in all of these initiatives. — Barbara J. Statland

Barb has been around ORT for 30-ish years. She’s been an employee for 13 years and a region director for the past five or so. Most of us see Barb as a lifetime ORTist.

If you’d like to honor Barb’s Herculean leadership at ORT, and/or you seek to invest in professional development for educators, and/or you want to witness my ugly crying because thanks to you, we have raised our $40,000 goal, please stop reading this post and click on Barb’s photo below!

Barb gorgeous2 — The tenacious, beautiful, and dedicated Barbara J. Statland

Thank you for reading this, and of course, for your investment in Barb, ORT, teachers, students, me and all who make a positive impact on our world.

May we all draw strength, knowledge and courage from Ba ba ba ba Barbara Jan.

In gratitude and love,

Pam

My Love Shack(les): Break Free.

Ever since my divorce and especially lately, I’ve been thinking about what being “in love,” actually looks and feels like. I’m pretty sure it’s a terrible idea to carry these thoughts on for too long in one’s head, especially with the committee that resides in my noggin. Still, for several weeks, I’ve been extra “think-y” about the qualities I’ve spotted in the men I tend to fancy the most. Continue reading “My Love Shack(les): Break Free.”

The Shadows & Shame & Stigma of Sex

DISCLAIMER: I am angry, and this will likely be a rant. If this post offends you, I urge you to examine your own views of sex, how you use or don’t use it, your own comfort level and how you communicate and/or act in your day to day life.

If I had a penny for every woman and girl who felt some shame about sex and her own sexuality, I could retire immediately. Even women, like myself, who feel very comfortable in their own skin and embrace their sexuality, carry some semblance of shame. Continue reading “The Shadows & Shame & Stigma of Sex”

Charity Begins at Home. How is your Staff’s Home?

I’ve had this headache behind my left eye. I get this from time to time and periodically, it becomes more than an annoyance. It doesn’t literally or figuratively impact my vision but puts a physical boundary on how long I work, which I mostly appreciate. (If my Mom is reading this, she’s wondering if it’s a migraine. If my Dad is reading this, he’s thinking I need to go to the eye doctor.) Continue reading “Charity Begins at Home. How is your Staff’s Home?”

Fickle Facebook Fans, Fan the Flames

It’s no secret that here in Chicago, most of us have the World Series on our minds. While I don’t watch any of the games, (not due to lack of interest, but to keep peace and quiet within myself), I have been following these games periodically through Facebook and other social media streams. Continue reading “Fickle Facebook Fans, Fan the Flames”